stretching suggestions? (for girly bits)

[crazycatlady]

So, I seem to have this problem where my female bits are unusually tight. I mean, it took me about 3 months of stretching with dilators (with a lot of pain, tearing, and blood) before I was finally able to lose my virginity (this was over 4 years ago). I've been using vibrators for a while now, but usually the clitoral kind. But in the last couple years I figured I should start using dildos (fingering feels good, with no pain, so I wanted to see if thicker objects would also feel good), so I bought some. They helped a little.

So what I'm wondering is if there's a good method for stretching out more and if any of you have tips for me. Right now, I can usually fit a regular dildo in (with patience and a lot of lube), but it always hurts at first (mostly around the entrance). The thinner ones don't hurt, and I like those, but I would like to be able to fit a regular-sized dildo (or have sex if I get the opportunity) without wincing in pain. I just ordered the Pocket Pal, so I hope that helps.

[KImboi]

You have the answer in your post "patience and lube." I'd add "arousal," i.e. getting yourself all hot and horny in the process of playing. Really, though, I don't know of any special magical tricks, just take your time and listen to what those bits are telling you. The ideal, of course, is that it should always be painless. But sometimes one goes through a bit of pain to get to what one wants (and sometimes a bit of pain *is* what one wants). It's hard to give clear cut specific advice here; on the one hand you want to push yourself a bit on the other you don't want to push yourself too much.

It's a shame that so few crotch docs are really sex-positive (or really know much about sexual functioning.) It'd be good to know if you might have some sort of problem. I'm assuming you're familiar with the usual urethritis and yeast kinds of stuff. Rule out things like that. If you're able to get a good look at yourself, I'd recommend doing so on an occasional basis so you can spot things like tears and infections, etc.

[Greywind]

So, I seem to have this problem where my female bits are unusually tight. I mean, it took me about 3 months of stretching with dilators (with a lot of pain, tearing, and blood) before I was finally able to lose my virginity (this was over 4 years ago). I've been using vibrators for a while now, but usually the clitoral kind. But in the last couple years I figured I should start using dildos (fingering feels good, with no pain, so I wanted to see if thicker objects would also feel good), so I bought some. They helped a little.

So what I'm wondering is if there's a good method for stretching out more and if any of you have tips for me. Right now, I can usually fit a regular dildo in (with patience and a lot of lube), but it always hurts at first (mostly around the entrance). The thinner ones don't hurt, and I like those, but I would like to be able to fit a regular-sized dildo (or have sex if I get the opportunity) without wincing in pain. I just ordered the Pocket Pal, so I hope that helps.

Pocket Pal > Teaser > Small Torpedo > Large Torpedo > Trumpet > Akita > THOR

That's the basic pattern to follow. When in doubt, use lube!

[zqfmgb]

Pocket Pal > Teaser > Small Torpedo > Large Torpedo > Trumpet > Akita > THOR

That's the basic pattern to follow. When in doubt, use lube!

Hah, I like the progression, and how it only includes two non-training toys. Seriously, though, I would have to add the question as to how often you use a dildo? Unfortunately you'll probably have to be pretty regular to see results. You... could go for the back door Might like it, or actually have an easier time of it. You could also try doing kegel exercises, that might help too.

[Talarath]

You could also try doing kegel exercises

If im not mistaken, thats for becoming tight after using toys?

[zqfmgb]

If im not mistaken, thats for becoming tight after using toys?

Yes and no. They're recommended before childbirth, as they strengthen the pelvic floor muscles and make the process easier. Stronger muscles (generally) have more flexibility and elasticity. Regardless, it can't hurt to do them.

[Greywind]

Hah, I like the progression, and how it only includes two non-training toys. Seriously, though, I would have to add the question as to how often you use a dildo? Unfortunately you'll probably have to be pretty regular to see results. You... could go for the back door Might like it, or actually have an easier time of it. You could also try doing kegel exercises, that might help too.

I was just joking around. But honestly following a progression with little victories would work. That and using tons of lube.

[crazycatlady]

Ok, I figured kegels and lube would be good. It's not really the inside that's unusually tight though, it's the very entrance. I guess the opening itself isn't wide enough, so I'm hoping to stretch the skin there without tearing it.

Klmboi - I always make sure I'm "good to go" before trying to stick anything in there. I went to the doctor a few years ago, and she said my parts were fine, and nothing has really changed since then. The skin tends to crack sometimes, but it does that on other random body parts that don't really air out. I'm pretty sure I'm anatomically normal, aside from being really tight. I think the remains of the hymen may be to blame too. Apparently once it breaks, the skin doesn't really go away until you have a baby (and I'm NOT doing that, at least not any time soon). It only really hurts at the very entrance.

Greywind - Hehe thanks... I doubt I'd want to make it THAT far, but ok. I'm not trying to be a size queen or anything, I'd just like to fit a normal-sized phallic thing in there without pain.

zqfmgb - I definitely don't use dildos enough to make a difference, that much I know. I'm lazy, so I only really get around to it every other week or so and then kind of have a marathon session. (It only hurts for a minute, and after that it's fine.) I should probably do it more often if I want results. Maybe every other day instead of every other week...

Also, the back door is not an option. I'm not interested in trying it, I'm really squeamish, and most girls I've talked to that tried it did not like it at all. (The only people that seem to recommend it are male. They all claim girls like it, but the truth is, only some girls do. Most don't.)

[crazycatlady]

By the way, Greywind, the hair in your picture is fabulous. (I'm kind of obsessed with long, curly hair...)

[zqfmgb]

Ok, I figured kegels and lube would be good. It's not really the inside that's unusually tight though, it's the very entrance. I guess the opening itself isn't wide enough, so I'm hoping to stretch the skin there without tearing it.

zqfmgb - I definitely don't use dildos enough to make a difference, that much I know. I'm lazy, so I only really get around to it every other week or so and then kind of have a marathon session. (It only hurts for a minute, and after that it's fine.) I should probably do it more often if I want results. Maybe every other day instead of every other week...

Also, the back door is not an option. I'm not interested in trying it, I'm really squeamish, and most girls I've talked to that tried it did not like it at all. (The only people that seem to recommend it are male. They all claim girls like it, but the truth is, only some girls do. Most don't.)

Ah, I only wind up doing it every week or so right now. I can relate to not really getting anywhere.

The backdoor suggestion was intended to be tongue-in-cheek, I thought I had remembered you saying that you didn't want that. I don't in any way suggest that all or even most women like taking it in the bum. Wish my wife liked it more It doesn't really do much for her unless she's really turned on, though. For her, it's less pleasurable than vaginal; since we usually only get one go of things, that means I don't often get her bottom. Which is ok, since sex is for both of us. I think it's starting to grow on her more, but that might just be me wishing hard.

Greywind pulls off the white afro with great grace and dignity. Sort of like my brother's hair if it gets longer, only lighter and less mushroom shaped.

[Greywind]

By the way, Greywind, the hair in your picture is fabulous. (I'm kind of obsessed with long, curly hair...)

Why thank you. I'm kind of obsessed with it too or I wouldn't put up with the hair management and I'd hack it off, haha.

[crazycatlady]

The backdoor suggestion was intended to be tongue-in-cheek, I thought I had remembered you saying that you didn't want that.

Ah, ok. Heh. Sometimes it's hard to convey/read tone over the internet.

[Rockpup]

Hrm, since stretching is often more effective when done for periods of time I'd suggest you go that route. Find a toy with a bit of a base (so it can't slip in too deep), that has a shaft that is a comfortable, but slightly snug fit for your entrance. I'd suggest you use some lube and your 'not my favorite' underwear to keep it in place for 15-20 minutes or more each night. Once that's comfie move up one step. You will have to do this regularly, not so much every night but most nights when possible.

Doing this should not take too long before you can easily fit the normal sized guy or toy.

Good luck

[Buttseks]

I only really get around to it every other week or so and then kind of have a marathon session. (It only hurts for a minute, and after that it's fine.) I should probably do it more often if I want results. Maybe every other day instead of every other week...

Yes, you should do it more often, and have shorter sessions.  Doing the marathon session every other week does sound it would make you sore, and be too much at once for the tight skin around your opening that you speak of.

[Tala]

For the record, I'm one of the few girls that likes it in the back- but I also like -pain-. So. The next bit will make sense.

So, I have the same problem you do- Omfg OWW upon entrance(Then again, I still have my hymen, and am being very tricky about getting around it. It works, miraculously.). The only thing I can suggest is what I do. You said fingering doesn't hurt, right? So stick two in and try to stretch yourself manually. It's a -really- slow process if you're not into pain(Usually, though, I don't stretch enough for extreme pain- just enough for a small bit. Don't wanna break anything. x3) But, depending on the size of the toy, it shouldn't take too long.